Editorial note: Opinions expressed here are solely those of the blogger
I spent several years working in the public relations and advertising agency world before joining the “other” side more than five years ago. Right off the bat I told myself that when working with solo practitioners or agencies I never wanted to be “that” client. And I like to believe for the most part I’ve held true to that. But like any client, I have my hang-ups.
I recall one external vendor partner emailing me several years back saying that they had a “surprise” for me and would tell me early the next morning during our planned status call. Oh, man. I stewed on this email for a bit and considered how best to respond. In the end I picked up the phone and reached the email sender on the first try. Then I told them, as politely as I possibly could, not to take it personally, but I absolutely hate the notion of being “surprised” and to please not use that word during our professional relationship.
I’m really not sure how I got this into my head but I don’t find anything remotely pleasing about surprises. Actually, I take that back. When my wife Wendy was pregnant with both of our kids we decided not to find out the gender beforehand. And when Ethan and Sasha both were born healthy, each was a truly joyous surprise. So there you have it – I’ve enjoyed two surprises in my life. I’m good.
I have surprises on my brain because lately I feel as though I respond to Ethan and Sasha with a series of stock answers, all of which in one way or another revolve around “I’m not surprised.” As in:
“I wasn’t aware of that, but I’m not surprised.”
“I don’t know him/her but, based on everything you’ve told me, I’m not surprised.”
The thing is, I consider myself a relatively positive person. It’s not like I go around in this dreary state, assuming everything is going to be awful. But somehow, along the way, I’ve lost the ability to be surprised. If someone is a good person, they’re going to do good things. Of course, the inverse is true as well. If the deck is stacked against a person or situation, I for one have a tough time seeing how everything will work itself out. Either way, I’m convinced that the die has been cast; the pieces are set in motion. Which to me eliminates any element of surprise.
Yet it dawned on me that, especially as it relates to Ethan and Sasha, this notion of nothing surprising me is something of a defense mechanism. Because as each continues to shape his and her respective identities they’ll naturally continue to pull away from Wendy and me. I’m not talking “pull away” in a negative sense, either; I mean the natural progression of things. When they start making individual life choices that will alter their trajectories in so many unforeseen ways. Just like they did for you and me.
Yes, something tells me when that starts happening I’ll be in for some surprises. And I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet.
Image credit: independent.ie
shishkabobgirldad 