Bubbles

Editorial note: Opinions expressed here are solely those of the blogger

I met a friend for coffee yesterday and their first question for me was if our family had let anyone into our bubble. They meant, given what’s been going on with the COVID-19, have we been finding ways to safely socialize; to take the necessary precautions and still go out and engage in the world. We discussed the challenges of raising teenagers and dealing with concerns over aging parents, of how the rapidly-approaching school year will play out. It was nice hearing, selfishly, someone face the same challenges and concerns and me. Then my friend and I moved on to another bubble altogether.

On the surface my friend and I were having coffee to catch up but it was actually somewhat of a planned political debate. We had been going back and forth via social media and text about a certain political matter that impacts both of us. It doesn’t matter what it is; suffice it to say we all face them, regardless of our politics, regardless of where we live.

This political matter was a doozy (they’re all doozys, aren’t they?) as it involved issues of  gender, age and race. I had a strong opinion about this matter; my friend had another. And while my friend made it clear they had no intention of changing my mind, they were truly interested in how I came to my opinion. So we discussed it yesterday, at length.

The more we talked, the more we kept coming back to one word: “Bubbles.” How we live inside them. How we think inside them. How easy it is to never leave them.

And the thing is, my friend and I even live inside the same bubble. We’re the same age; we live in the same neighborhood; we watch the same shows and listen to the same podcasts. But it’s almost, as silly as it sounds, like each of us were living in bubbles within our bubbles.

Ultimately, my friend didn’t change my opinion and I didn’t change hers; that really wasn’t the objective. But it was very helpful helpful to explore all the different variables, with all their nuances and complexities, even inconsistencies, that go into forming our opinions. One lesson I took away is to keep asking ourselves why, when it comes to our opinions. Why do we believe something to be the case? Try it; I’m telling you, it’s harder than it seems. But I truly believe it will help us get outside out bubbles a bit and maybe even reassess what comprises them.

My friend and I said our goodbyes, promised each other (and meant it), that we’ll do it again soon. Later that evening, my wife Wendy and I had friends over for after-dinner drinks – a husband and wife who live in our neighborhood. We sat outside, on our deck, chairs safely apart, with separate nut and pretzel bowls and the like.

These friends of ours had never been to our house before and the husband kept commenting how different the area of our neighborhood visible from our deck looked to him. He was seeing the exact same surroundings he always saw; most of which he pretty much took for granted. But the vantage point made it look entirely different.

I knew exactly what he meant.

Photo: Dan Mullan