Editorial note: Opinions expresssed here are solely those of the blogger
Back in December 2014 I took a work trip to Arizona for a few days. Our son Ethan, as a big football fan, asked me to buy him a Cardinals hat. So I purchased him one at the airport, paying a ridiculously inflated price. Ethan never wore the hat so I made it my own.
So, from about April through October I’ll wear the Cardinals hat on weekends when our family is out and about or if we’re traveling together and I’m outside quite a bit. I actually never wore hats of any kind growing up, save during the dead of winter. It’s a concession to my age and not wanting to get sunburn on my scalp, which is much more exposed than it once was.
But somewhere along the way, the hat has become something of a new identity, a source of jokes within my family. Because, along with the hat, I’m typically wearing sunglasses, a t-shirt, cargo shorts and either Vans with socks or Teva’s. I couldn’t look any more like a bland middle-aged Dad if I tried. Or, as I like to introduce myself occasionally to our kids, “Andy from Arizona.”
As the kids grew older, Ethan joked that the hat and Cardindals Dad get-up made me look like a narc so I started calling myself A.J. Thomas – the first name that came to mind and an homage to the 80’s detective shows I grew up watching. A.J. Thomas became a key staple of my Dad jokes. And, as is the case with most Dad jokes, I was having more fun with A.J. Thomas than anyone else.
Last week our family was in Las Vegas for our annual road trip. Ethan, an amusement park ride enthusiast, wanted to go on the roller coaster at New York-New York and I told him I’d go along with him. Now, I’m not crazy about roller coasters and Ethan, at 16, was old enough to go on his own. But I didn’t think that would be as much fun as me riding with him.
I forgot to remove my Carindals hat and it flew off my head less than a minute into the ride. The hat was actually the least of my worries. I was absolutely horrified during the ride and spent most of it with my eyes squeezed shut wishing it would end soon. The handful of times I did peek at Ethan I noticed he was shouting with joy with a big smile on his face and both arms raised over his head in triumph. I wondered how much he really needed me to accompany him on future rides.
After the ride Ethan and I met up with my wife Wendy and daughter Sasha, who wisely decided not to go on the rollercoaster. My missing hat was a big topic of conversation and Sasha said that when she was younger and we’d be in a crowded place, its red color is what she used to keep me visibile to her. I also missed the Cardinals hat but honestly was too focused on my relief at not being on the ride anymore.
Our family’s next stop was to see the Blue Man Group at the Luxor so we started heading in that direction. But first we stopped at a gift shop where I promptly purchased a Las Vegas Raiders baseball hat and immediately begain wearing it. The kids and I even came up with another narc alias – Tony Gino (Wendy served as the final decider of “Gino” vs. “Geno”). I think it’s a bit too ethnic for a narc name but it will do for now.
I continued walking toward the Luxor with our family, wearing the Raiders hat. Stopping along the way to look in shops and take in the people-watching splendor of a Saturday night in Las Vegas. Seeing everyone, in one form or another, having fun being someone else. If only for a little while.
shishkabobgirldad 